Have you ever wondered when you were a kid, who chooses what type of adult you’re going to be alive?
Do you decide? Do parents choose? Does the company choose?
You would be tempted to say, perhaps, that we and only we are responsible for the kind of person we come to be when we reach the culmination of maturity. But let’s instead split the thread into four and think over the situation a little more thoroughly.
How is adult life affected or influenced by our childhood experiences?
Even if we are talking about how we were bred and treated by our parents, grandparents, or close relatives, we must be aware that every choice has been influenced to a greater or lesser extent by those around us.
Under the circumstances, there is a chance that at certain times of life, positioning in a meaningful conversation, judgment, and self-confidence have “suffered” because of those who had a say, when you failed to do it yourself.
What were the reasons why you failed to express yourself at the right time in the right place?
Perhaps a failed relationship with the father or one unconsolidated with the mother brought you closer to the sense of doubt. It can be a typical example that can only affect your past, but also your future. It can affect the next intimate relationship with a potential life partner, it can influence the one between you and your child, or it can be in all aspects of your life:
- career,
- social relations,
- partnership relationships, etc.
Another example that can block you alive when you want to express yourself or position yourself as an adult, maybe the one where you were partakers of different violent situations or sexually abused in the past. Such experiences do not only take you out of your path set at birth but can prevent you from evolving regularly.
Why? Because it can affect the development of some areas of the hippocampus, responsible for controlling the memory and the ability to adjust emotions. Once matured, you can present a higher degree of exposure to the states of depression, anxiety, anger, or fear.
Therefore, you are more likely to lose leadership in a corporate or other business conversation, so fewer occasions to assert yourself as an adult.
How do you reposition yourself as an adult in conversations?
Not all of us are born to occupy positions of directors or managers, but the job of being a confident adult in their power should be filled by every man who has matured. To express your opinion at the office, to be able to make a decision, to have the courage to ask what you want, to make people listen to you. On your priority list is useful to find all these skills.
Lack of trust and authority can lead you to an unpleasant place you can no longer get out of, and we wouldn’t want that.
And even if you’re already there, a specialist ATLAS licensed in psychotherapy is always ready to help you through online meetings.
As one without the other does not work, trust, and authority, the first step would be to strengthen the former. By what methods?
Find your motivation
Do not struggle to prove anything when you feel that it is neither the time nor the right place. If you don’t have the guts at the exact moment, find your real motivation for which you want to do a sure thing, and try again. Otherwise, emotions might be able to swoon and lead you to failure. Give yourself time, think two times what you want to do, analyze it, and then move on to facts.
You should pay attention to your fears
Do you feel a big emptiness in your stomach, and your appetite disappears slightly, gently? Maybe it’s time to ask yourself some questions about fear.
Does it have anything to do with a new love relationship? Can an interview negatively affect you? Is there a possibility that a new job does not help you in your personal development? All can have an answer, but first, try to analyze them and then overcome them. How? You can learn this in another article on our blog, called Fear Management: 9 ways you can overcome fear.
Use motivational materials
Whether we’re talking about pictures, music, videos, famous quotes, or books.
Learn from their own mistakes
To make a mistake is not a problem. To repeat the same one can become a problem. That way, you’ll get to feel inferior to those around you, and the battle will be lost before you start it.
After you’ve solved your trust, start working on the authority. For example, if we are talking about a job:
- Be confident
- Don’t be with your nose on top
- Learn to take attitude
- Don’t speak more or over colleagues
- Wear the right clothes
- Use appropriate language
- Be empathetic and listen to the people around
- Give yourself the chance to open up new experiences
- Keep your emotions under control
- Learn to say no
Once you’ve acquired the two capacities, your chances of successfully asserting yourself as an adult in a conversation can grow considerably.
Be confident! Good luck!
