Psychotherapy and the patient who resists the change

The patient who does not accept the change and comes to therapy only for the sake of complaining about others has no way to evolve. Find out more!


Psychotherapy works when you trust the specialist and the therapeutic plan. You can reach your goal if you want to work alongside the therapist and learn to get out of the status of the victim – the aim is to improve the quality of life, eliminate symptoms and treat behavioral and emotional disorders.


One of the biggest problems encountered in the therapeutic process is the resistance to accept the situation and causes, then the resilience to the therapeutic plan.

It does not imply the long-term organization, but especially the adaptation to each meeting, the single by the way, because the patient has a life dynamic. The lack of this adaptation, both from the patient and from the therapist, blocks many therapies. And patients remain in the same state with which they initially came to the therapist’s office:

  • anxiety,
  • depression,
  • addiction or emotional stagnation, personal or professional.

The goal is not to determine who is to blame when the patient encounters this obstacle, but rather, we must discover why this blockage is happening.


A therapeutic plan is useful

There must be a therapeutic plan

The relational aspect is significant for successful treatment, and the specialist physician should consider a variety of factors to make this possible. A professional therapist continuously adapts the healing process, the more information about the patient, asks, in crucial moments, feedback about the type of therapy, and how the treatment progresses. Setting goals and micro-goals to measure the success of the therapeutic approach are also important.

The therapist can refer to the patient’s resistance, and it is useful to reflect it. The patient will often face rejection of ideas discovered in therapy, continually asking why he is not receiving advice or telling him what to do. Here’s a necessary threshold for the past. Each of us is unique, has its way of adapting to life and his emotions, psychic, and life baggage. Only he knows what can be of use to him; the therapist only has the role to help him discover and guide him.

Starting from the relevance of the above idea, the rest of the work rests on the patient’s shoulders and his ability to build an adaptive present, leading him to a future where maintaining is at the fore, facing negative feelings at every step and communicating open and honest about the progress it feels (or which it does not see). The critical point, and often ignorant, is that the patient is, and will always be, the expert in relation to what is happening in his life.

Often, people who feel that they have prolonged periods of emotional stress and come to the therapist, are at the limit of their powers. Many know the cause of problems, understand why they live hard times and look for someone to guide them and give them the tools to change their way of life.


Patient who resists change

The patient who goes to therapy and does not accept the change

The situation can be complicated when the patient comes to the therapist without the desire to change anything. Changing, changing your tables and habits is scary, and it’s the responsibility of the specialist to help you find the resources to move on.

But when a patient comes to the therapist after a breakup that has emotionally destroyed him-where heavy words were said, they both blamed themselves for various failures, or even deceived their trust in each other; A therapist can establish specific relevant goals:

  • Discover what worked in the relationship
  • Accept why the relationship has not worked out
  • Identify the constructive traits of a healthy relationship.
  • To determine what boundaries and principles you don’t want to go through.
  • Learn how to communicate better with the person in the couple.
  • Better manage conflict situations.

… among other things.

However, even if these goals and other micro-goals  are certain, the patient uses therapy only to complain about the former couple partner, talks about how those around you have to change, gets stuck in the role of the victim and gets to design Nerves and frustrations on him, the therapist or those in the immediate vicinity.

To determine what boundaries and principles you don’t want to go through.

This behavior is harmful in addition to the therapist’s guidance area – the patient’s obvious refusal to change his way of life. Even worse, the patient can reach out and direct his frustrations to the others around, with the perception that he did nothing wrong, and the universe plots against him.

We all report subjectively to the events in our lives, but a solution to the problems we face, especially if we think that there is a set of universally valid instructions to be followed to get rid of negative feelings, is to We learn to distinguish ourselves from others. The missing puzzle piece, and can give a better picture, overall, of what is the basis of our problems, comes from understanding why we think and act in a certain way, and why it is better to adapt.  We can change the way we relate to the events in our lives, and we can help ourselves improve ourselves, we have no idea, however, to change others.

Without a therapeutic plan, without realistic goals that we need to fulfill (validated by daily reality) during treatment, we do not reach a solution that has a long-term impact.


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Written by

Hilio Team

Hilio Team

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Related skills

Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Psychological disorders associated with oncological diseases
Eating disorders
Couple therapy
Domestic violence
Work Medicine

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