One of the greatest contemporary American psychologists, Nathaniel Branden, psychotherapist and the father of the Self-Esteem movement, says in an interview for Psychologies.ro:
Of all opinions, the one you have about yourself is the most important. There is a link between passivity and action between success and failure. Self-reliance does not mean euphoria or the illusion of happiness possibly brought about by frequent use of a drug, constant compliments from entourage, a bigger machine to buy when you do not see life in pink, a raise of salary or possibly a new love relationship.
Self-confidence does not come from the outside, either from the parents, from friends or lovers and girlfriends, from the psychologist, or a supportive group. He who lives self-conscious himself quickly realizes that the feeling of confidence from the outside is ephemeral and too little satisfactory. Self-confidence comes from an act of awakening.
How is self-confidence born?
Education has an essential factor. It seems that the esteem and respect of parents of one another are the best model for the child’s further self-confidence.
These parents have common points: they raise their children with love, respect, draw appropriate rules, and communicate their expectations well. They do not convey conflicting signals, do not ridicules them, use humiliation and physical abuse to control them, and show confidence, competence, goodwill, and kindness. That is a good education, says in the same interview, Nathaniel Branden.
Does childhood have a decisive role? Not! I’m sure you have friends who prove otherwise. Even though they grew up in unstable families, they developed an undeniable sense of their value.
Let us consider the following situation as an example. You have a job that pleases you. But you enjoy it without lying to yourself or your colleagues. But, unfortunately, you have a boss. One whose main task is “to make your life a Calvary.” You wear inner dialogues, ventilate with colleagues, tell your friends, but something stops you from saying “NO” today does not work like this!
And tomorrow you start again. You feel that you can no longer, and the tasks are no longer over, and all are urgent and important, and the day is still 24 hours. At the same time, think about the fact that if you get to the state of burnout, no one is going to be of any use to them. Neither you nor the boss! Not to mention that the company won’t be any better.
Where is that inner force hidden that would give us the courage to fight for our well-being? You know she exists! It just needs to be searched by a few methods that are not necessarily simple, but not impossible.
From emotions to self-realization, self-confidence is an essential ingredient
All of the above represent certain stages by which you must pass to reach the desired level of confidence. It all starts with emotions (step 1) and the ability to control them in different situations.
For example, a negative emotion on the above model, the one with the boss, can push you towards an extreme that doesn’t necessarily benefit you.
- “I can’t stand it anymore. I’m not coping anymore! I’m quitting. “
Instead of:
- “I need to talk to you about my work-life balance.”
The confidence to open yourself in front of a person occupying a higher position in the company hierarchy comes from positive thinking and the power to control your emotions in such stressful situations. After you’ve passed -step 1-, you’re already starting to feel safe -step2- “Because you know you can.” And gently, you are headed to the sense of belonging to a group (those who think like you), considerations from the social environment and what is more important, to self-realization.
When you get to this last stage, self-confidence should explode and be with you every step of the way. It also can help you to look for new development opportunities or apply for a new feature if that’s what you want.
Whatever you wish, the important thing is not to let your fears control your life, but you should make a good team with self-confidence.
Tips & Tricks to keep you in the right direction
- Work on the inside, namely, to your professional knowledge. In one word: learn
- We stick to the chapter learn and so we suggest you learn from your own mistakes
- Read. Not anything! But motivational materials. Or look at the videos that talk about self-confidence
- Talk positively about yourself. Not today, not tomorrow, but all the time!
- Identify things that intimidate you and try to overcome them.
- Play sports and adopt a confident posture. We don’t think it would spoil a shopping session, to look better.
- And what’s most important: accept fear of failure and prepare your following actions.
If you do not know which way to turn, in the ATLAS community, you will find over 220 licensed specialists prepared to help you. You’re not alone on this whole trip!
Identify things that intimidate you and try to overcome them!
Schedule a meeting now and see if the ATLAS team is what you’re looking for.
If you don’t know who to talk to, book a free guidance session with the ATLAS team. The Important thing is that you find a comfortable alternative to problems that do not give you peace.
