How did your three actions go?

If you did not complete all of them, you now have useful information. The fact that an action did not happen is not the useful part. What matters is discovering what prevented it.

Lesson 5 asked you to predict what might get in the way. This lesson looks at what actually happened.

Some barriers come from outside you. A time slot was cancelled or the week became unexpectedly chaotic. These are practical barriers, and Lesson 9 will introduce a planning tool for them.

However, many people notice something quieter in their action log. The time was available, but a thought or feeling persuaded them not to act.

There is a metaphor that can help you understand these internal barriers.

Imagine that you are driving a bus. It is your bus, and the route follows the direction you chose in Lesson 5.

Like every bus, it picks up passengers. Some are pleasant. Others are difficult and may say things like: I’m not ready. They’ll laugh at me. Who do you think you are?

These passengers are loud. They sit close behind the driver and have strong opinions about the route you should take.

How does the driver usually respond?

You may stop the bus and argue with them. Or you may choose the quiet roads the passengers prefer. This is the loop from Lesson 4 expressed through traffic: your route becomes narrower, and the passengers begin to control the timetable.

The metaphor captures two important ideas.

First, you cannot force the passengers to leave. This is the control agenda again. The bus remains stopped for as long as you are fighting with them.

Second, you do not need to remove them. “You, as the driver, can follow a direction of your choosing, whatever the passengers happen to be saying.”

The passengers may be loud, but they are not strong. Even the most difficult passengers are still thoughts and feelings. You do not have to follow their instructions.

There is one misunderstanding to avoid.

This does not mean gritting your teeth and forcing yourself to continue while fighting every thought and feeling. Driving with your entire body tense simply moves the struggle to the steering wheel and uses the same energy.

The next two lessons introduce the skills that can help. One focuses on thoughts, while the other focuses on feelings. Both offer a gentler approach than the struggle you may have been using until now.